18 month old swallowed by shifty dinosaur at doctor’s office.

No one's making eye contact with that dino. He isn't to be trusted, and neither is anyone in this office.

No one’s making eye contact with that dino. He isn’t to be trusted, and neither is anyone in this office.

Yesterday I took Maddie girl to the pediatrician’s office for her 18 month well-child visit. Turns out my girl is the perfect 18 month old. As far as 18 month olds go, she tops the charts. She has already mastered TONS of 18 month old skills.

A few examples?

I had to weigh her when we got into the office. I knew if I set her on the baby scale she’d cry, so I told the nurse she could stand on the big kid scale. And she can. At home she stands on our scale in the bathroom and watches it go from 00.0 lbs to ERR (because the little pup doesn’t weigh enough to register) over and over again. So I held her up and said, “Here Maddie, you can go on the big scale!” I hovered her over it and told her to put her feet down. She must already have the ab muscles of a two year old (!), because she held her legs crunched up beneath her and wouldn’t place a toe on the poisonous scale. “Oh. I guess she’ll do the baby scale.” I sat her on it and she burst into tears. Fear of new situations/defiance/emotions? Check!

When our doctor, arguably the nicest woman/mom/doctor out there, came in to examine her, Madeline started whimpering before the doc had even gotten her gloves on. Heck if she’d let her look for bugs in her ear or boogers in her nose. She leapt off the table and into my arms, where she stayed for 3/4 of her exam, glaring at our kind (and patient) doctor. When I lay her down onto the dinosaur table for measurements, she burst into tears. Stranger anxiety/emotions? Check!

She required two vaccines on this visit, and burst into tears the moment the nurse walked in with the needles. These emotions? I can relate to these emotions. I remember as a kid crying before we’d even left the house, because I was too scared to get the finger shot (why those torture devices even existed is beyond me). I used to try to psych myself up to go, saying, “I’m a big brave dog! I’m a big brave dog!” I think I saw that on an episode of Rugrats… But the second the shot came out (that was shoddily disguised as a tape dispenser), I’d let the tears go again and wouldn’t stop until we’d left. My 18 month old? She stopped as soon as I handed her a cookie and let her take a drink from my straw cup. Emotions/distractibility/desire for all things grown-up? Check!

Our little string bean grew almost two inches since October, but only gained 10 oz. “She’s tall and thin.” Just like…the mailman? And as for all of the real 18 month milestones, things like being able to spoon feed herself, play pretend and say a few words? She exceeds expectations.

I’m really looking forward to all the things she’ll accomplish in the next six months, before her two year appointment- temper tantrums, “mine,” even more emotions and feelings.

Footnote: How is my baby closer to being two than one? Sob…


  1. LOL You are hilarious! And poor Maddie. Shots are no fun. I forgot to take Molly in for her 18mo appt (you can mail my Mom Of The Year Award straight to Korea thanks), so she still needs one more shot before she turns 2. In 2 months. Gulp.

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